yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
