Sacagawea was the original milf.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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