just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
