Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
