So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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