i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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