Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
