Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
