Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
