Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
