The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
