do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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