My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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