you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
