have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
