I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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