No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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