I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I am mentally ready for anal.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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