We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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