Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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