So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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