Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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