I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
