Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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