I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
