vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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