I wannas sexs uuuuu
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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