i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
