a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
