Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
