i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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