He is such a slut. More and more my type.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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