i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Drunk is not a location!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
