I looked at my own cervix.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
