She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
