There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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