It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
