she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
