I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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