I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
