Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
