the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
