I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
