I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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