shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
