reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
