WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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