i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
