There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There's even glitter on my cock...
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