Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize