tell your sister to shave her snatch
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
