I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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