never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
