I will die if light touches me.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
ok first of all what the fuck
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
