woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
