i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize