it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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