well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So squirting runs in the family.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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