Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
