I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
