Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Also, beer. Big fan.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
