dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize