I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
