The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
