im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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