i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
