i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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