Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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