Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
