on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
