You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
