the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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