She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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