People with herpes should wear stickers.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
