i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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