It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
