I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
