Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
