i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
